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The Most Corruptible Youth

by The Organ Donors

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1.
"Get In The Circle!" Now you're older than you ever thought you'd be Still not as special as you once believed So, do you just give up now? Just let go and drown? No! You've got to get up And start all the dancing, The starting and slowing, oh, see how their hands all fold up to the sky Now you're starting not to hate the hurt That your own youth caused you, 'cuz There's no other way to learn So, do you just give up now? Just let go and drown? No! You've got to get up And start all the dancing, The starting and slowing, oh, see how their hands all fold up to the sky! Start up a circle! And get in the circle! And don't ever let the best days of your life just waste away and pass you by
2.
You said you're headin' west, I said I'm headed south But the sky is gray, and nothin' changes Looks like I'm stayin' here for another year or so Again You said you'd call, I said I'd write But we both know that that's a lie Whenever I speak the truth, the opposite comes true But you know that And I ain't too old yet to say That I don't remember Oh, that day And all it brought with it, and all we wrought from it In the cab of a pickup truck The sky was clear It was summertime And what am I to do? When he's screamin' at you? Oh, no, In the cab of that pickup truck, My lord He never even bothered to fix it up! Two weeks, two weeks, two weeks, two weeks and I'm too weak to even go on Singin' my sad songs My ears' been carpet-bombed by that Father John - another "Man In Black" pretend! Oh Three weeks, three weeks, three weeks, three weeks Could you let me speak? Cuz I'm so tired of answering the same old questions. No, I don't know why I don't know where I am or where I'm going! So settle down, why don't you settle in? You asked what's on my mind, well Where do I begin? I know it can't be that easy, bein' you and lovin' me Well I hope it all gets just a little bit easier with my apology
3.
Lord knows I don't deserve forgiveness! It's been too many times for one life I've been doing wrong, thinkin' I been doin' right by you And Lord Knows I don't deserve forgiveness! No, that ain't right But Lord don't let me walk around and do the wrong thing twice And I can barely live just for myself Don't ask me, don't tempt me To live life for anyone else And I, I can't do this anymore I want to fall asleep without you Inside my skull
4.
I'm Alive! 02:29
I'm Alive! x20000000000000000
5.
Not In Love 03:38
I was certain by the way you walked, and You were certain by the way I talked that We were certain of nothin' at all And slowly then, we would fall, oh, what a love! - we were gonna have Hold me sideways, and don't let go On a highway covered with snow. Softer music than I can make, you had a hand in my mistake, and what a love! we were gonna have, oh! I'm not in love I'm not in love But that don't mean I'm opposed I'm not in love I'm not in love But that don't mean I'm opposed I'm not in love I'm not in love But I could always try I'm not in love I'm not in love But I could always try If you would, too
6.
You talk too much, but it's alright I kinda like that about you But not here, not yet Not now "Do I talk too much?" I think, "Is it enough?" I hope That you'd fall in love with someone like me But not here, not yet - I'll save my, my regrets for another day! Another day! Another day has come and gone And you didn't even call That's fine. I know that I didn't either. Another day has come and gone! You almost didn't cross my mind! But you did, and now I know That it'll be some time yet before I let you go. If at all - If at all...
7.
War Drums 03:30
Lock the door, and grab the knife - Or, headphones on and close your eyes. I fell asleep in her arms and awoke, cold and alone, and so afraid that it was just a dream! Oh, war drums - Ooooh, abuse... Sickness, oh, a cabin's fever Furnacing mind without my keeper! A sweater knit from my memories of music, all your smoke and poison smiles. Socks sheared from those dancin' sheep prancin' sleep'ly through an age of ember and ice. Through my bedroom window I see, a moon frostbitten, and a sun too bright. But such sunshine I have never seen as on that day! It could've been my first time beyond The Cave, where metal's cold and dormant - in February, frozen, still the songbird has chosen to sing
8.
Dropout! 01:28
9.
Bowed and bent and broken So proud and stoic, and stolen Still I've got my mind, and I've got my pride, and I can't help but feel I'm runnin' out of time I saw my father cry on New Years' Day Cuz nothin' mixes quite as terribly as tears and champagne Mother put the casket-catalogue away! It's my birthday! It's my birthday!
10.
Dwelling 03:51
I am wicker, made conscious by the flame alone. It turns me to tinder, to ash and the same. Totem of the Celtic tribe, a soul, soon soil sacrifice that begs itself - "Just do not die!" Before the words, of which I was woven to wicker, bespoke, In time be spoken. And hum and hang in the cradle of the crackle of the smoke! And in it's embers I find my broken soul! Just you and I dancin' Under the starlight The memory is burned into my eyes You twirled in a circle, and came right back to me And I never dreamed I'd never see your face or speak your name again
11.
Awake 06:54
Awake, I'm awake I'm not sleepin' anymore Awake, I'm awake I'm not sleepin' anymore And you stand there, silently, in the doorway Awake, I'm awake I'm not sleepin' anymore Awake, I'm awake I'm not sleepin' anymore And you stand there, silently, As before. Oh, as the rain falls! And we're fallin', too Oh, it keeps fallin' and callin' me to you Oh, as the lightnin' strikes right behind your eyes Oh, as it's fingers make their way right down your spine! And I'm awake now! Yes, I'm awake now! Oh, as the rain falls! And we're fallin', too Oh, it keeps falin' and callin' me to you Oh, as the lightnin' strikes right behind your eyes Oh, as it's fingers make their way right down your spine! And I'm awake now! Yes, I'm awake now!
12.

about

For several years, this album has been finished - all that needed to be done was to record it. It technically began in May of 2015, and had many alterations, changes, additions, and subtractions along the way. It was my living, breathing musical journal of my coming-of-age, and as such, is and I anticipate will remain an important piece of myself.

From falling in love to having my heart broken, to breaking my own and others' hearts with no regard - leaving home for the first time, only to dropout of college and return with my tail tucked between my legs.

From getting diagnosed, undiagnosed, and rediagnosed. Fights with family and myself over the future, my future. Days, weeks without restful sleep. Anxiety, depression, panic attacks. Losing friends and track of time.

Finding it all worth it, moving past it, onward, upwards, forevermore.

I could not have done this without all of my friends and family. As I sat down to record this album, with just one USB condenser microphone, a mini-MIDI keyboard, Ableton, and a guitar, I found reflecting all throughout that though these albums represent some interior of myself, and are inherently inward-facing (for the most part), there is no turn of my life that I was not buoyed by love, companionship, and if nothing else, commiseration.

I'm excited to finally place this into the world, and excited to finally, as my mother has always wished, "write some happier songs".

Thank you for listening!

credits

released August 16, 2021

All music, lyrics, and production - Finn Jackson

Album Artwork: Haley Olszewski IG: @milllk.lady

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The Organ Donors Buffalo, New York

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